Where’s the Beef?

January 28th, 2011, 11:22 pm PDT by Greg

Step 1: Taco Bell sued because their “Edible Beef-like Taco Substance” contains only 35% meat, instead of the 40% required by law to call your product “beef” in the United States.

Step 2: Taco Bell president publishes a letter saying “no, our product is 88% beef, and the other 12% is unicorn jerky”.

Aside on terminology: there are three similar terms floating around here. I’m going to use them as such:

  • beef: muscle tissue of a cow.
  • “beef”: things that can be sold with the word “beef” on them, and apparently have to be 40% beef.
  • “Edible Beef-like Taco Substance”: what Taco Bell serves.

Step 3: I think to myself, 88% is a suspicious number. I mean, I have seen what comes in a Taco Bell taco, and it ain’t 88% cow, and claiming it is is a bit of a stretch.

Step 4: Waitaminute… “beef” has to be 40% beef. Is Taco Bell saying that their “Beef-like Taco Substance” is 88% “beef”, not actually 88% beef? But “beef” only has to be 40% beef.

88% × 40% = 35%

So, the President of Taco Bell just announced to the world “claims that our taco filling is only thirty-five percent beef are completely inaccurate. It’s actually thirty-FIVE percent beef, and I’d stake my career on it! No lawsuit that claims otherwise will ever succeed!”

Um… clever?

One Response to “Where’s the Beef?”

  1. Curtis Lassam Says:

    Also, “100% USDA Inspected” does not mean “100% Beef”, nor does it make any claims as to what _grade_ the USDA gave the beef (Prime, Choice, Select, Standard, Commercial, Utility, Cutter, or Canner).