Greg and Kat’s blog

Step 1: Taco Bell sued because their “Edible Beef-like Taco Substance” contains only 35% meat, instead of the 40% required by law to call your product “beef” in the United States.

Step 2: Taco Bell president publishes a letter saying “no, our product is 88% beef, and the other 12% is unicorn jerky”.

Aside on terminology: there are three similar terms floating around here. I’m going to use them as such:

• beef: muscle tissue of a cow.
• “beef”: things that can be sold with the word “beef” on them, and apparently have to be 40% beef.
• “Edible Beef-like Taco Substance”: what Taco Bell serves.

Step 3: I think to myself, 88% is a suspicious number. I mean, I have seen what comes in a Taco Bell taco, and it ain’t 88% cow, and claiming it is is a bit of a stretch.

Step 4: Waitaminute… “beef” has to be 40% beef. Is Taco Bell saying that their “Beef-like Taco Substance” is 88% “beef”, not actually 88% beef? But “beef” only has to be 40% beef.

88% × 40% = 35%

So, the President of Taco Bell just announced to the world “claims that our taco filling is only thirty-five percent beef are completely inaccurate. It’s actually thirty-FIVE percent beef, and I’d stake my career on it! No lawsuit that claims otherwise will ever succeed!”

Um… clever?

Okay, seriously… am I the only one with ears? I’m hardly an audiophile, but I’m increasingly finding new music unlistenable purely as a result of the loudness war. If you don’t know what that is, this YouTube video has an excellent description of loudness wars.

I have songs that I don’t like listening to because I know there’s a better song in there somewhere: I just can’t hear it because all the interesting stuff has been clipped.

Most recently, I found myself thinking that the Alicia Keys vocal Empire State of Mind is totally muddied. It would probably sound awesome if the vocal wasn’t squished in with everything else, but everything is too loud to let that happen. [You can certainly find it on your favourite file sharing service—don't pay for it, it's not worth it.] Most annoyingly, the video on youtube actually has better audio (to my ear at least) than the album version.

Screw it. I’m just going to listen to Gordon over and over forever. I ripped it myself from a CD I bought sometime in the middle 90s and it sounds awesome.

Following our long-standing tradition (of three years now), we just had our annual holiday open house. It’s a great excuse to see a bunch of people, many of whom we’d be too busy to see over the holidays otherwise. We had 48 people (by Kat’s count) this year, which is a solid turnout. I have posted what pictures I have (which are mostly of food).

We have stuck pretty closely to the formula that seems to work: tell people to come whenever and make sure there’s a lot of food. You’ll notice a lot of similarities between this list and our list of food from 2008.

The Food

Here is the food we had, with recipe/supplier links where I have them to post. Several of the links are to Cooks Illustrated, which requires a subscription. I vote that you pony-up and buy the subscription: I’ve rarely made anything from them that wasn’t awesome.

• deviled eggs (from Cooks Illustrated)
• meatballs (from my mother’s recipe)
• Vegetarian Chili (from New Canadian Basics)
• Alton Brown’s Shrimp Cocktail (with a half-strength brine)
• a side of salmon
• artichoke dip (from New Canadian Basics) with pitas
• potato salad (my recipe)
• various cold cuts, veggies, and fruit
• salami from Moccia
• veggie and meat pockets from Golden Pita
• various cheeses: some from local farmers markets, some from the grocery store
• various bread and crackers
• blueberry pie (from Cook’s Illustrated)
• Caramel Macchiato Cheesecake (a Bad Girl Chocolates recipe)
• squares: triple-decker squares, lemon squares, butter tart squares
• cookies: chocolate chip, chocolate-cherry rounds, speculaas, ginger cookies, and some sugar cookes (which were the only ones we bought)
• candied pecans
• trifle (from my recipe)

Commentary: The meatballs were a huge hit, so I have posted the recipe in a separate blog entry. I have rarely, if ever, made a better pie than those blueberry pies: I think I’m finally getting the touch for it.

People drank a lot more pop and a lot less beer/wine this year. I have heard the same from another person who had a holiday party. Maybe it’s the new drunk driving laws? Worth keeping in mind if you’re entertaining in BC this season.

The Time Lapse

As before, I set up a camera on a tripod to take a picture every 30 seconds. These (2000) pictures can then be stitched together into a time lapse video, which tells the story of our day pretty completely, at 1:270 speed. (direct link to the movie if you’re having plugin problems)

The Next Day

On Sunday, it was Kat’s grandmother’s birthday. It has become tradition that the grandchildren cook for that event.

So, after cooking Friday for most of the day and all you see in the time lapse, we got up the next morning to drive to Surrey and make indoor pulled pork (with Lexington-style vinegar sauce, and chopped not pulled as they do in the Carolinas). And we fed another 24 people with that.

Needless to say, we were both pretty bagged by the end of our weekend.

We had our annual holiday open house last Saturday. That seems to deserve a blog post of its own, but for now, I want to get this out of the way…

The most requested recipe by-far was for the meatballs that I made. They were described as great comfort food, rustic, and “Filipino”. (Apparently, sweet + sour + meat = Filipino.)

The whole thing can be made ahead and frozen. For the open house, I froze the meatballs ahead (since they’re the time-consuming part) and made up the sauce the day before: that seemed to work pretty well.

This recipe is very much from my childhood. My mother made it quite often—I know it only has her recipe, although it may have come from a magazine or something. It’s great with mashed potatoes. It travels well (to a potluck or whatever) in a slow cooker or casserole dish.

Meatballs

Really, any meatball recipe will do. This is the one I used, but if you want to go with a fancy beef/pork combo, that’s fine by me.

• 1 lb ground beef
• 1 clove minced garlic
• 1/2 cup breadcrumbs
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1 egg
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper

1. Preheat oven to 400°F.
2. In a large bowl, mix ingredients together. Roll into inch balls: I like one inch for appetizers, but bigger if I’m serving it as a meal.
3. Place on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until lightly browned and cooked through: 15–25 minutes, depending on the size of the balls. Or you could cook them in a sauté pan if you’re impatient.

Sauce

• 1 large onion, roughly chopped into strips/chunks
• 1 tbsp butter
• 2 cups ketchup
• 2/3 cup brown sugar (or 1 cup if you want it a little sweeter)
• 2 tbsp cider vinegar (or wine vinegar)
• 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• salt and pepper to taste

1. Sauté the onion in butter until softened.
2. Combine the other ingredients. Add the onions when they are cooked.
3. Combine the sauce and meatballs in a casserole dish. Bake at 350°F for about an hour, stirring halfway through. They’re done when the sauce is bubbling nicely.

For the open house, I did the last step in a slow cooker: just combined the sauce and meatballs in the slow cooker about 4 hours ahead and let it do its thing.

As of the end of August 2010, I have been employed as a lecturer at SFU for ten years.

On the basis of Peter Norvig’s excellent essay “Teach Yourself Programming in Ten Years“, I extrapolate that in the past ten years, I must have learned how to do this thing that I claim to be my profession.

Because I like Norvig’s examples, I will add my own: Queen formed in 1971, and played the Queen Rock Montreal show in 1981. Just look at that performance, just look at it! I’m convinced Freedie was an alien from the planet of excellent stage performers and was exiled for making everyone else look bad.

While I’m not Freddie Mercury, I think I’m doing okay. I have felt my lecturing style change, even within the last year. It’s somehow just easier; more comfortable. I’m more likely to leave a lecture and think “anybody that thinks they could have done that any better can go fuck themselves,” usually on days when I have coffee, which does funny things to my brain.

I still think of myself as a better course designer than actual “lecturer”, but that’s another story.

By the numbers: (all values as close as I can figure without really looking that hard)

• Students taught on campus: 4900
• Students supervised in distance sections: 2200
• Time spent lecturing: 1600 hours, or two straight months
• Time spent watching exams: 220 hours, or one icepick lobotomy
• Sections of CMPT 120: 4
• Sections of CMPT 165: 14 on campus, 17 distance
• Sections of CMPT 470: 13, with 153 project groups
• Projects supervised: 9 (capstone, directed studies, etc.)
• TAs supervised: 125
• Emails sent and received: 150,000 (wild guess)

Okay… I’m tired just looking at that. Must be getting old.

We’re finally going to get a new car. Our old car is worth essentially nothing as a trade-in, so if anybody wants it, speak up quickly. (Like, today or early tomorrow.)

1990 Toyota Corolla, 265000 km, automatic. No A/C, no power windows, no power locks: basically, nothing to break.

For its age, it’s in remarkably good shape. I don’t actually know much of anything about cars, but to the best of my knowledge, the engine, transmission, brakes are all good. It has passed Aircare with flying colours every year we’ve had it. (Never within a factor of 10 of any of the emission limits.) It has had proper regular maintenance its whole life.

A complete list of problems that I know about: There is a short in the brakelights that needs to be fixed so it stops blowing bulbs (and leaving you with only the rear-window light); cable to the license plate light has snapped and needs to be reattached; significant chunk of rust under the gas cap; some minor rust elsewhere at the back; there’s a seal around the top of the windshield that is coming off (that I’m pretty sure is decorative, but what do I know).

I’m not a mechanic, so I’m in no position to say that it will still be running in 6 months, but it’s doing okay for now.

We can get $550 from Aircare, so anybody else willing to pay that is welcome to it.

We left off with Rome…

The cruise ship docked in Naples the next day: it’s a port city, so no shuttle buses to worry about. We had no agenda in Naples, other than to eat pizza.

We walked around the city a bit, but mostly killed time until our lunch at Pizzeria Brandi. They are the creator of Pizza Margharita, and that’s exactly what we had. We had planned a second lunch before leaving the city, but all the restaurants closed for the afternoon and we were foiled.

Then, an at-sea day and the next day at Palma de Mallorca.

I had been thinking of Palma as kind of just a place for them to stop the ship for the day, so I wasn’t expecting much. It ended up being one of the prettiest places we went the whole trip. The guide books said that it was a late-night party city and things didn’t really get started until late morning. We got off the boat at around 10:00, but everything except the occasional coffee shop was closed until noon or even a little later. Two notable finds: a cathedral with palm trees (which was both beautiful and novel), and café bombon (espresso and sweetened condensed milk in equal parts; look for it at your local Cafe Artigiano soon).

Then we took an extra day in Barcelona before we made our way back.

On the way back, we spent a few days at my parents’ place in Ontario. That was fairly uneventful, as a family gathering should be.

All told, we were gone 25 days. That’s just about my limit for travelling: I’m glad to get back to my own bed. However, our bathroom is dirty, and I don’t think the maid is coming.

The last two days have been spent cruising to cities that aren’t ports: Florence and Rome. Both days involved a 1.5 hour bus ride from the local cruise ship port into the city. So, all of a sudden, our 12 hour port days shrunk to 8 hours in the city.

In Florence, we stumbled on the Galileo Museum, which was very cool: collections of old scientific instruments from Renaissance Europe, including some stuff from Galileo. At the time, science was all about showing off at your benefactor’s parties, so a lot of the instruments were built to look cool. Finding that was a happy accident.

But the biggest highlight, by far, was lunch. We had copied some pages out of Italy for the Gourmet Traveller to bring with us and managed to find one of the places for lunch. Look at our lunch. Just look at it! Best food of the trip, by a wide margin. (Although I’m hoping Naples tomorrow will give it a run for its money.)

Today was Rome, starting with a tour of the Vatican. The Vatican is full of all this, like, old stuff. Mostly with pictures of Jesus and Saint Peter on it. The rest of Rome is full of old stone stuff.

I don’t know why I’m the one writing about Rome, frankly. Kat’s much more into old things than me: I tend to zone out the moment a tour guide mentions a year.

The Sistine Chapel is a helluva thing, though. And I’d like to point out that I Totally Did Not take any illicit pictures of the ceiling by holding my camera in front of me and casually pressing the shutter.

Tomorrow: Naples.