Okay, so I just bought a new mouse. My old one was giving me double-clicks on the middle button when clearly inappropriate, and the battery charger wasn’t working, forcing me to change batteries every couple of weeks.
Since I didn’t want to fight with batteries any more, and my mouse doesn’t really move out of its one square foot area, I decided to go with a corded mouse. Most mice are cordless. I was left with the cheap mice, and a few high-end corded “gamer” mice. I eventually decided on a $23 Logitech mouse.
While I was looking around, I saw this for $70 in London Drugs:
Here are the claims made on the box. It’s like a case-study in marketing bullshit.
- “6400+ frames per second”. Okay, mice don’t have “frames”. I’m willing to assume they meant “samples per second”. 6400 times per second, the mouse checks to see how much it has moved. They couldn’t have said “6400 updates” or something like that?
- “5.8 megapixels per second”. WTF? Mice have megapixels? I can’t even imagine what that could mean. Are they using “pixel” to mean “position” or something?
- “40 inches per second, high speed motion detection”. I can’t seem to move my $23 mouse fast enough that it misses out. Maybe 16 year olds have somehow managed to develop freakishly strong forearm muscles that lead to phenomenal mouse speeds?
- “7 buttons, independently programmable”. I’m all for programmable buttons, but what would it mean for buttons to be “dependently programmable”?