Does anybody else ever get the impression that they might be too stupid to act as a functioning member of society?<\/p>\n
I went to go out this morning and couldn’t find my wedding ring. There are only really two places I leave it when I take it off, and it wasn’t in either.<\/p>\n
It wasn’t on the floor near those places. It wasn’t in the less-frequent places I leave the ring, or around them. It wasn’t on any surface near where I could imagine having taken the ring off. It wasn’t in or under the couch. It wasn’t in the pockets of the clothes I was wearing yesterday.<\/p>\n
It wasn’t in the full bag of garbage that had been sitting for a few moments near the front door, where I usually put the ring. [Anybody ever carefully search a bag of garbage? Week-old chinese takeout containers, half-eaten fruit, old kleenex. Unidentifiable moisture. It took some intestinal fortitude.]<\/p>\n
I decided to re-check the clothes I was wearing—maybe there were some pockets I missed. There was the ring, sitting under the shorts I was wearing. It was on top of the pair of shorts below, dead-centre, as if carefully placed there for safe keeping.<\/p>\n
This is a pretty serious mystery to me. I replayed the day as I was searching, trying to figure out where I might have left it. I almost never put my ring in my pockets. I’m always paranoid about it when I do, so I would remember if it had been in my pocket during the day. How else does a ring get in with one’s clothes?<\/p>\n
Underpants gnomes? Maybe they could only find my shorts, not the underwear, so they got pissed and hid my ring?<\/p>\n
Or, like, it might have been a mouse or… something?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Does anybody else ever get the impression that they might be too stupid to act as a functioning member of society? I went to go out this morning and couldn’t find my wedding ring. There are only really two places I leave it when I take it off, and it wasn’t in either. It wasn’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-92","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=92"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=92"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=92"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=92"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}