{"id":131,"date":"2007-01-25T10:46:54","date_gmt":"2007-01-25T18:46:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/2007\/01\/25\/the-wheels-on-the-bus\/"},"modified":"2007-01-25T10:46:54","modified_gmt":"2007-01-25T18:46:54","slug":"the-wheels-on-the-bus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/2007\/01\/25\/the-wheels-on-the-bus\/","title":{"rendered":"The Wheels on the Bus"},"content":{"rendered":"

As most of you know, I take the bus to work every day. I really have no general problem with it, and enjoy the 20 minutes of reading\/music every morning and afternoon. But, let’s face it: there are some annoyances.<\/p>\n

As such, I present Greg’s (incomplete) Bus Rules:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If you’re standing: Look towards the back of the bus. Is there empty space there? Look towards the front of the bus. Is there a clump of people crowded together that can’t get by you? Congratulations, you’re retarded! Move!<\/li>\n
  2. Don’t wait until the bus comes to a complete stop to start making your way to the door. If you do, don’t be surprised, yell, or bitch when the driver takes off when you’re just about to get to the door after 15 seconds. Exception: You’re old\/frail\/crippled\/have an inner-ear infection, so standing up on a moving bus is a significant danger.<\/li>\n
  3. Gentlemen: Close the gates. I’m sure you have a large, manly sack. Air it out on your own time, and keep yourself on your seat.<\/li>\n
  4. If you fail to observe the above rule (or otherwise can’t keep yourself confined to one seat), don’t be surprised if you find me snuggled up to you. Especially if it’s cold. Also don’t be surprised if I shuffle imperceptibly in your direction every time you adjust or shuffle in the slightest. <\/li>\n
  5. Mothers: Yes, I guess you can flip up those front two seats and park your SUV-style stroller. Don’t then take your bastard offspring out of the stroller and plop them on the seat beside<\/em> you. You just paid one fare and took four seats. Leave the kid in the stroller. Or put them on your lap. Or walk there. Or find a local crack dealer to babysit the kid. Pick any one, doesn’t bother me.<\/li>\n
  6. Put your shit on the luggage racks. This seems to be overlooked particularly in the 5-wide bench at the back: there’s a whole big space back there.<\/li>\n
  7. Okay, this one is pretty minor, but annoying. If you’re standing and two people are trying to have a conversation across the aisle, don’t stand directly<\/em> between them unless the bus is so crowded you have no choice. Take a half-step.<\/li>\n
  8. If somebody at the front of the bus gives their seat up to an old person and the old person then gets off, the original occupant has dibs on the seat. No swooping in.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Proposed additions welcome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    As most of you know, I take the bus to work every day. I really have no general problem with it, and enjoy the 20 minutes of reading\/music every morning and afternoon. But, let’s face it: there are some annoyances. As such, I present Greg’s (incomplete) Bus Rules: If you’re standing: Look towards the back […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=131"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/gregbaker.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}